Breaking the Chains: How Purity Culture and Diet Culture Keep Clients Stuck
What do diet culture and purity culture have in common? More than you might think.
As therapists, we often see the effects of one or the other—but rarely do we talk about how deeply intertwined they are. In a recent conversation on Not Boring CEs, I sat down with therapist Michelle Moseley to dig into how these two powerful systems impact our clients’ relationships with their bodies, food, sex, and self-worth. Whether you’re exploring CEs for therapists or looking for continuing education for counselors, this episode offers crucial insight into an often-overlooked clinical intersection.
Let’s dive in.
What Is Diet Culture, Really?
Diet culture isn’t just about food. It’s a belief system that equates thinness with health and moral virtue. It’s…
- The myth of “calories in, calories out” as a universal truth
- The assumption that smaller bodies are better bodies
- The idea that willpower should override hunger and cravings
- The pressure to chase an unattainable body ideal that shifts with every trend
Michelle explained that our bodies are hardwired to maintain a set weight range—and when we diet, our bodies push back. Nearly all diets fail long-term, but the system blames the dieter instead of the diet.
👉 “It’s not that you failed. It’s that the system was designed to fail you.”
Purity Culture: More Than Abstinence
Purity culture often shows up through a religious lens, but its impact runs deeper than just “saving yourself for marriage.”
At its core, it’s about:
- Rigid gender roles
- The suppression of sexual expression (especially for women)
- Viewing the body as shameful or dangerous
- Obedience and modesty as moral benchmarks
Michelle described how messages like “don’t cause your brother to stumble” place the burden of male desire squarely on girls’ shoulders. Clothing, behavior, and even thoughts are policed—all in the name of being “pure.”
Shared Harm: How These Cultures Overlap
Both diet and purity cultures preach control, self-denial, and a very narrow definition of what it means to be “good.” Here’s where they overlap:
1. Disconnection from the Body
Clients raised in these systems often live like “floating heads.” They struggle to notice hunger cues, sexual desires, or even comfort/discomfort in their own bodies.
2. Pleasure is the Enemy
Both systems demonize pleasure—whether it’s enjoying a slice of cake or a fulfilling sex life. Clients learn to suppress joy in favor of “righteousness.”
3. Moralized Language
- Diet culture: “Clean eating,” “junk food,” “cheat day”
- Purity culture: “Dirty,” “pure,” “sinful,” “modest”
Both frame everyday behaviors in black-and-white, good-vs-bad thinking.
4. Perfectionism and Shame
Clients internalize the belief that if they’re not perfectly thin or perfectly chaste, they are deeply flawed. The result? Constant shame and a sense that they’re never enough.
What This Looks Like in Therapy
Here’s what to watch for in clients:
- Extreme body shame or modesty beyond personal preference
- Black-and-white thinking around food, sex, or identity
- Disconnection from bodily cues
- Depression stemming from “not measuring up”
- Clients who obsessively control food or feel wildly out of control with it
- Shame around developmentally appropriate sexual desire
These are red flags that diet or purity culture may be in play—even if clients never say those words.
What Helps? Strategies for Clinicians
Michelle shared some of her go-to tools for gently unwinding these systems in therapy:
🌀 Start with Psychoeducation
- Teach what diet culture is and how it shows up
- Normalize developmental stages around sexuality
- Explain intuitive eating and body trust
- Offer accurate, shame-free sex ed when appropriate
🧠 Introduce Trauma Work
Many clients need more than talk therapy. Michelle uses brainspotting and EMDR to process deep-seated shame and fear.
🧘♀️ Explore Somatic Practices—Gently
Reconnecting with the body can feel unsafe. Start small:
- Breathing exercises
- Mindful eating with a favorite snack
- Walking meditations that focus on bodily sensations
Let clients lead the pace.
👥 Offer Group Support
Group therapy can be profoundly healing for folks feeling isolated in their struggle—especially when they’ve been shunned by religious or diet communities for stepping outside the norm.
Religion Without Purity Culture: Yes, It’s Possible
Many clients want to maintain their religious faith while letting go of harmful purity messages. That’s absolutely possible.
Michelle encourages curiosity over judgment:
- “Where did this belief come from?”
- “Is this helping you or hurting you?”
- “What parts of this still feel meaningful?”
Support clients as they explore and reclaim their values on their own terms.
Conclusion: You’re Not Doing It Wrong
If you’ve been wondering why a client’s eating disorder recovery has stalled, or why they can’t access sexual pleasure even after leaving their church years ago—this might be why.
Diet culture and purity culture often fly under the radar in clinical work, but they leave deep marks on our clients’ bodies, minds, and hearts.
As therapists, we don’t need all the answers—but we can be the ones who ask the questions. Who make space for nuance. Who guide our clients back to themselves.
If you want to learn more about supporting clients through this work, check out our continuing education for counselors and CEs for therapists at Not Boring CEs—because the real work doesn’t have to be boring, and it sure as hell shouldn’t be shame-based.
Explore more CEs like this one at Not Boring CEs
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